Uncategorized

Worth

How much longer do I have to wait

Will my patience wear thin as days pass

How much longer will it take

To find the one to stand by my side

 

Does my baggage outweigh my worth

Have I really become unlovable

I see others in worse situations finding several

Yet I can’t find one

 

How long until I stop getting pushed aside

For those that look better on paper

Why do they always see my worth

After a string of failed dates

 

Why am I not an option

Should I really give up

Accept a fate of being single forever

While watching others living happily

 

While everything takes times

I feel like I am always waiting

Waiting for someone to love me for me

Maybe that is just a dream

 

 

©Writing the Rose

©writingtherose.com

29 December 2018

Uncategorized

Beautiful Dream

Longing for his arms to be wrapped around me

Feeling secure by his warm embrace

Smelling the scent of his skin

As he nestles his face into my neck

 

Feeling his hair brush against my cheek

Burying his head closer to me

Our eyes not meeting

Still able to know what the other is thinking

 

Entangled in our own world

Nothing is more satisfying than this embrace

Its enough to warm any day

And cure any loneliness felt on a winter night

 

Staying like this forever would be a dream

Reality makes this almost unattainable

So, while dreaming of this perfect scenario

We layer another blanket on this cold winter night

 

 

©Writing the Rose

©writingtherose.com

29 December 2018

Uncategorized

New Year, New You?

So today marked the start of a new year and it got me thinking about the common phrase used, “new year, new you.” I got to thinking was there any truth to that. I mean when I woke up this morning, I was the same person who went to bed last night. It was just a new day that just happened to mark the start of the new year. My kids hadn’t miraculously learned to clean up after themselves and do laundry by themselves. In fact, they were rowdier than ever. So when I woke up, everything was exactly the same.

So why this phrase? Is it to motivate us to be better in the new year or is it just another one of those things that people say? In all honesty, I have no idea. I just don’t like that it is used like it is because it gives the illusion that you will magically change just because the year of the calendar does. I mean, it is a miracle if I can even remember to write the new year within the first month, let alone, become a new person. So I feel like it should be changed to new year, new chances.

A new year brings about new opportunities and chances in life. You have the chance to change habits and you get new opportunities that will fill the year and will impact how you view it at the end. You get the chance to work harder to achieve goals. So while you are still the same person, your new opportunities will obviously shape you in some way.

All I am saying is a new year will not change who you are. Just like there is no magic pill to lose weight, there is no way a calendar change is going to change you into a completely new version of yourself. A new year is simply that..a new year. So you can choose what to do with it. If you want to use the year to make yourself better, find true, love, etc, you are now granted that opportunity to find it this year. However, don’t be fooled that you aren’t the same person you were 18 hours ago when the clock struck midnight.

Use this year to your full advantage. Take the path that works best for you. Fulfill the goals you have given yourself. Make the best of this life. I hope all your goals and aspirations come true this year, and if not, remember there is always the year after next. Though I really hope you won’t have to wait that long.
©Writing the Rose
©writingtherose.com

Uncategorized

Goodbye 2018

It’s the last day of 2018. We made it everyone! This year was a long one, and I am excited for the start of a new one. When 2017 ended, I said I was ready for anything the next year had to throw at me. I should have thought more carefully before jinxing myself. This past year was hard, and a lot of changes came about, but it was also a year of growth and setting myself up for success in the future.

I was finally able to end one of the longest chapters in my life and rediscover myself. I was reminded that I am a survivor and that no matter life throws my life, I will tackle head on and get through it. I said goodbye to needless drama, and after years of going back and forth I let go all the family members who have years have refused to acknowledge my existence, including my brother. This was a year of letting people go who were just standing in your way of being the best version of myself. While letting go of some people stung, because I knew them for decades, as their drama left my life, I felt lighter and more focused myself. I spent too many years trying to save people from themselves and eventually you have to let them figure out their life for themselves.

This year was also met with me discovering that I can no longer try and change myself to match someone else or to make people happy. Although I have known this for years, there was always that one side of me that wanted to help everyone that let me slide back into the habit. However, no more, and I have no apologies for it. I will be there for the ones who are there for me, but I am not going out of my way or dealing with fair weather friends anymore. One thing I am actually happened is I stop being the ice princess my friends know me as and started letting myself be vulnerable. While I have always exposed every aspect of my life to my friends, this was the first year I let myself be vulnerable without holding back to complete strangers. While it had some amazing pay off but adding new people to my tribe and making amazing friends. It did expose me to the criticism I have grown accustomed to through life. However, I know that my opinions and my personality are not for everyone, and therefore, if they don’t like me, it’s their loss in the end.

2018 was probably my hardest year in this decade, and while I am happy for a new year. I appreciate everything I went through because you have to weather the storms of life to reap the rewards. I am excited to end the 2010s with nothing but positivity and amazing things happening. Next year will be amazing, and I am not asking for it to throw me everything, because I will be honest and say another year like last will probably be too much to handle.

So those of you who have had a hard year, I wish you nothing but help and happiness in the upcoming year. If this year kicked you in the ass, just remember that after every storm there is a rainbow. Okay that was cringeworthy but it’s the truth. If you are struggling with letting go of this years’ misfortunes, just do what I do. Write every bad thing that happened this year on a piece of paper and once you are done, light it on fire. Watch the flames engulf the paper and watch all the bad things disappear like the ash. It is one way to leave those bad situations or people in the past. Don’t let them come to a new year with you and ruin your brand-new start with their negativity. While watching the paper burn, image that those are your memories and let those burn with the paper. Now, if you have a photographic memory like me, that may be tough, but as it burns, black out those images in your mind. So if they do happen to pop up again, all you see is a blank screen. Leave the pain behind and move forward to a prosperous year.

Don’t forget to write those goals down for next year. I don’t do resolutions because they never last, so I write down everything I want to accomplish by the end of the year. I actually have a realistic one and a “fantasy” one because as a writer, I always like to dream a little. However, I normally stick to the realist one but always hope something from the other list pops into reality. For one, this website will be updated daily with new writings. I am going to be posting things I have been holding back on posting for multiple reasons. Any locked posts will be unlocked. I will be working on a book that has been sitting in my head and laptop for months, so I will be using this as a place to drop all my motivational, poems, music articles, and some genres that haven’t been frequented on here yet. For those of you that have already entered the new year…Happy New Years and for those still waiting for the clock to strike midnight, well let’s make this the best last day of the year!! I will see all of you in the New Year!!
©Writing the Rose
©writingtherose.com

Relationships, Uncategorized

Don’t Settle

Let those that walk away, leave. Do not chase anyone who does not want to be with you. It will be their loss in the end. Now please don’t take this as me saying you don’t need to try. I feel like people give up early because they don’t want to put in the work. People give up because the other party doesn’t respond in a timely matter to them without taking into consideration what the other persons schedule is like. I have been on the receiving end of this many times. Guys assume I should answer a text in 10 seconds after receiving it and that I should be at their beck and call. That is not how any relationship works. You cannot base your life around another person, especially if they cannot understand your situation. It is not feasible for me to answer my phone at all hours of the day. I have four kids who require my attention and a job that requires me to do some work, you know?

If someone gets mad at you because you have a life, then they are not the right person for you. Now if this person never replies, and I mean never replies. If days go between responses, then they are just not interested, and you need to move on. If you feel like you need closure, then ask them if you should start dating other people. They will reply for sure and although you may not get the answer you want, you for sure get an answer. Take the answer and do with it what you must, continue the communication or write them off as nothing more than a friend and move on to the next. There are too many people out there to waste your life trying to please one that doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.

Relationships take work and if only one side is doing the work, it will never work. However, some people are too caught up in today’s world of instant gratification. People check their phone every 10 minutes looking for a reply text because that is what we have been taught. Information is at our finger tips, you can go on YouTube and get your 15 minutes of fame, and most models use Instagram and twitter to make money by how many likes and clicks on ads they get. No one wants to do the hard work anymore. You cannot swipe right and just expect your fairy tale romance to fall into your lap. You have to do the work. You have to communicate. If you cannot hold a conversation with someone, then you will never be able to experience the relationship you are longing for. You can’t just text and expect love to come.

Love is a chemical reaction between two people when the right amount of chemistry is involved. Ever wonder why some of the most beautiful women are with the most average looking guys? One word: chemistry. It isn’t money or fame, it is chemistry. These average looking guys can actually hold a conversation with a woman and keep her interest. Let’s face it people, looks fade. You will not look like you stepped out of the fountain of youth for the rest of your lives, so make sure you find someone whom you actually like beyond looks.
©Writing the Rose
©writingtherose.com

 

Relationships, Uncategorized

Don’t Give Up on Love

 

 

Lately I have been seeing many posts from ladies and guys alike saying they can’t find anyone to date because of x, y, and z. So instead of just staying true to themselves and weeding out the ones not right for them, they just want to give up. Why do people give up so easy on finding love? Maybe what they need to do is take a step back and reevaluate how they are approaching the whole subject. Stop spending your days wondering why Mr. or Mrs. Right hasn’t walked through the door and swept you off your feet. Spoiler alert: this is real life, there is no slow motion pause as the man or woman of your dreams walks through your favorite coffee shop or restaurant. Work is involved in finding love. However, what can be done is you can grow a thicker skin and allow yourself to be ready to face rejection.

Look I get that the dating world is tough. I was in a relationship and marriage for 10 years and was left with emotional bruises and scars and 4 kids. That is a lot for anyone take on and I knew that when I went back into the dating world. You know what I also knew? I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t. I know what I will put up with and I know my worth. In all honestly, if a guy says he is not interested because I have kids, I let him go. No hard feelings, because I remember before I got married and single dads would ask me out, I would say no because they had kids. Why? Because I wasn’t ready for the responsibility of having to love not only the guy but his kid. I also didn’t understand what it meant to date a guy with kids. I thought it meant I was going to be thrown into a parenting role off the bat, which is far from the truth. I also didn’t want to have to share my time with some kid that wasn’t mine, because I was young and selfish. However, after having kids, I realized that the assumptions I had are not true. Now listen, I know there are woman out there who strictly date to try and find a dad for their kids. These women, however, do not make up the majority of women with kids. Most of us don’t need them to take on that role, we need them to take on the role of being with us and seeing where that goes. I am also a firm believer that you shouldn’t bring up your kids on a first date. Why? Because you need to see if you even have anything in common with the person first. Why spend the date mentioning your kid or kids, if the person you are with is as dull as a doorknob? Now I am not saying hide the fact forever, but people need to do some vetting before they decide to mention kids to someone they go out on a first date with. Besides this, if someone decides, they do not want to pursue you because you have kids, it is not your fault. Do not put yourself down and decide dating isn’t worth your time because one person says they can’t handle the kid thing. You will meet someone who won’t even blink when you tell them you have kids and might even find you more attractive because you have a child. Now I am not saying this person is just going to fall into your lap, you will have to work to find them. Please, however, don’t spend your days searching for this person. Go out, take up a new hobby, learn a new language, get out into the world. You are more likely to find someone with the qualities you are looking for, if and only if, you put yourself out there.

Now another aspect I have noticed is ladies asking why guys are only attracted to model looking girls with perfect bodies? Halt! Now I am not going to lie men are visual creatures, but so are women. However, I used to think the same thing, but it is not true. Everyone has their own preferences to what they are attracted to and why. Some men are more attracted to physical aspects and don’t care about personalities or quality of the person. Run from these guys…run!! Most of them are dull and honestly have nothing to say. If a man cannot value your brain as well as your body, he is not worth your time. I mean he may make a good hook up, but nothing more than that. There are men out there who are attracted to the intellectual just as much, if not more, than the physical. No, they aren’t fat or unattractive, if that is what you are thinking. The saying beauty is on the inside is not said by ugly people. It is said by those of us who need to be able to hold a conversation with the person we are with to truly be attracted to them. I always say looks will get you in the door, but your personality is what keeps you there. It means, yes I need to be attracted to you, but if you have an ugly personality, you won’t be staying around. Ladies, please don’t change yourself for men. If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself, not because it will make you more attractive to men. Men love confidence. Be confident in who you are all around, your looks, mind, how you carry yourself, that will earn you more looks than anything else. Also, smile more. Men are naturally attracted to happier women. No guy wants to approach a woman who is always scowling or looks like the world has pissed her off to the largest extent. This is common sense, but most people don’t seem to practice this. I sure as hell am not going to approach a guy who looks like he is pissed off at the world. Why? It’s not attractive at all.

Also, if people around you are telling you that you will never find love because you aren’t a size 2, have a kid, aren’t classically beautiful, you need to ignore them. You need to erase them from your life because toxic people thrive on bringing people down and making them feel worse about themselves. I have been told many times, I don’t deserve to be loved or to find love, and I just tell them, they don’t deserve to be in my life and move on. I have a thicker skin then most and cutting off toxic people in my life has always been easy. No one can tell you that you don’t deserve love. Everyone deserves love and to be loved. Please don’t allow others to make yourself feel like this is your truth. You need to know your worth. You need to love yourself. You can’t expect to find Mr. Right or Mrs. Right if you don’t even love the person you are. You can’t make others love you and the truth is not everyone will, so you need to be okay with that. Don’t just give up on love because you have been rejected. Rejection is part of the process. In business it takes 10 no’s to get 1 yes and the same can be said for love. Love is a numbers game. The more times you try, the greater chance you have to find the one person you have been looking for. If giving up is that easy, then maybe you need to take a step back, reevaluate yourself and try again when giving up isn’t an option. I will never give up, no matter how hard, how long, it takes because in the end, when you find the love you have been longing for, you will forget how awful or long the process was. So, don’t give up, because giving up is easy, and finding a happily ever after, however you define it, is not easy. Nothing good comes from giving up and who knows, that one person you are longing for, may be right around the corner but you are going to miss that opportunity because you decided to give up instead of powering on.
©Writing the Rose
©writingtherose.com

 

Uncategorized

Welcome!

Now that I have you trapped in the lair or my blog, I will take a few moments to introduce you to your new master. 🙂 Just kidding! As you we go through the days and weeks, you will realize this type of speech is my go to at all times. Also, for those of you who have extreme linear minds, I will warn you now that my mind is like an ADHD kid on too much sugar, it goes everywhere. Wasn’t this supposed to be an introduction post? Anyway, thank you for joining me on this new journey and I hope you enjoy what is posted.

So this blog will be where I share some of my older literary works, keep you updated on the 4 kids that dictate my days, share what I am currently working on and it will be an overall peek into my life. Nothing crazy, well it might get crazy. However, even if it does, I invite you to join me on this ride!