Relationships, Uncategorized

Valentine’s Day is just another day

A day of love. Yet shouldn’t everyday be a day of love?  Do we really need a holiday to prove we care for another person? Is that how shallow our society has truly become?

Valentine’s Day the one time of the year people in relationships love because they think their partner will shower them with gifts. The holiday is catered to those in relationships. It is also the day that corporate American reminds single people how much they fail for not being in a relationship. However, if you really take a look at what this holiday has become, it is really just a sham. I mean why on one day of the year should you expect your partner to be going above and beyond to show you how they feel. This should be happening on a regular occurrence, and Valentine’s Day should just be another day. It is a day of love but why is it only focused on the love of couples?  Why can’t this just be a day of love for all? Who cares if you are single, maybe you enjoy not having to deal with the struggles of a relationship or maybe you just don’t have time.

Being single is not a bad thing, nor is being in a relationship. However, I have seen way too many people use Valentines Day as a way to go overboard to prove they really care for their partner. Yet when February 15th rolls around, the fights start again, and they question why they are still together. I always believed the ones that got the most on this day, were always overcompensating for something wrong in the relationship, or something they have done. I can’t count the amount of times, a girl comes crying a week after getting a huge display, having just found out her boyfriend has been cheating for months. Corporate greed has made us believe the more we spend, the more our partner will love us. This is farther from the truth. Stop fretting if your significant other doesn’t go all out or forgets. The holiday is overrated anyway.

All over social media you see people either bragging or complaining about how their life sucks. Singles feel left out, and restaurants make deals for single people. I am not sure my take on this because I don’t want pity for being single. I mean a discount is nice, but do I really want to go to restaurant and say I am single, so give me a discount today. Forget that. Do I want to go to a bar and wait for another lonely guy to take me home to fill our void together? No! You don’t have to be with someone to feel complete. You should be enough for yourself. Wait until you find the person that will treat every day like Valentine’s and not wait for the calendar to tell him or her to celebrate and appreciate you.

So often we are made to feel incomplete if we are not in a relationship and this is no more present than on Valentine’s Day. However, it will also make you question your own relationship. I always advise staying away from social media on this day. Don’t compare your relationship and your gifts or activities to others. Everyone is different. Some put more importance on the time spent together than on the money drained from their account. I would much rather have a guy spend an uninterrupted evening with me with no distractions, meaning turning our phones off and having a real conversation, than being showered with superficial gifts. Though we have become a superficial society, so I can understand why some feel compelled to go all out. I won’t hop on that train though. A home cooked dinner, candles, wine and some good music will always beat a fancy 5-star restaurant. Plus, who really wants to fight to get reservations? Too much stress.

Does one day really make a difference? Does buying a gift make your relationship last longer? Does this day make up for the rest of the year? No, is the answer. If you say yes, you are just deluding yourself because one day does not make up for every other day. Can you make it a day of a fresh start, of course! Just don’t use Valentine’s Day as a way to try and make up for all the bad things that have occurred. A holiday cannot replace those memories or actions taken. Sure, you can go spend a lot of money and shower someone with a falsehood of security, but if it is only done on this day, that façade will disappear quickly. Use today as just another day to appreciate all of those around that you love. If you are single, get together will your other single friends and celebrate your freedom to go out and do whatever you like on this day catered to lovers. If you are in a relationship, celebrate in the way that works for you and your partner. Forget the hallmark cards and lifetime movies. Only you know what your partner likes, and if you don’t, well that is a whole other subject. What I am trying to say is don’t put pressure on yourself to match what has been ingrained in our brains since elementary school. Enjoy your day and at the end of the day, it really is just another day in the scheme of life. Don’t waste your time worrying about 24 hours and just do what works for you.

(c)Writing the Rose

Sarah Do

14 February 2019

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Uncategorized

Soulful

Beauty runs deep

Past what the eyes can see

The soul of a person

Holds the true beauty

 

The look in their eyes

Are mere previews of the movie

Most won’t stay for the feature film

Shallowness overflows in most

 

Looking past the external

The only way to truly discover

The beauty of another

An experience most will miss

 

In a world where looks outweigh personality

Ugliness fills the world with hate

Those overlooked

Hold the key to beauty unseen

 

Look into the eyes

Find the soul of beauty underneath

Only then can one say

They have seen the beauty life has to offer

 

©Writing the Rose

Sarah Do

29 December 2018

Uncategorized

Worth

How much longer do I have to wait

Will my patience wear thin as days pass

How much longer will it take

To find the one to stand by my side

 

Does my baggage outweigh my worth

Have I really become unlovable

I see others in worse situations finding several

Yet I can’t find one

 

How long until I stop getting pushed aside

For those that look better on paper

Why do they always see my worth

After a string of failed dates

 

Why am I not an option

Should I really give up

Accept a fate of being single forever

While watching others living happily

 

While everything takes times

I feel like I am always waiting

Waiting for someone to love me for me

Maybe that is just a dream

 

©Writing the Rose

Sarah Do

29 December 2018

Uncategorized

Beautiful Dream

Longing for his arms to be wrapped around me

Feeling secure by his warm embrace

Smelling the scent of his skin

As he nestles his face into my neck

 

Feeling his hair brush against my cheek

Burying his head closer to me

Our eyes not meeting

Still able to know what the other is thinking

 

Entangled in our own world

Nothing is more satisfying than this embrace

Its enough to warm any day

And cure any loneliness felt on a winter night

 

Staying like this forever would be a dream

Reality makes this almost unattainable

So, while dreaming of this perfect scenario

We layer another blanket on this cold winter night

 

© Writing the Rose

Sarah Do

29 December 2018

Uncategorized

New Year, New You?

So today marked the start of a new year and it got me thinking about the common phrase used, “new year, new you.” I got to thinking was there any truth to that. I mean when I woke up this morning, I was the same person who went to bed last night. It was just a new day that just happened to mark the start of the new year. My kids hadn’t miraculously learned to clean up after themselves and do laundry by themselves. In fact, they were rowdier than ever. So when I woke up, everything was exactly the same.

So why this phrase? Is it to motivate us to be better in the new year or is it just another one of those things that people say? In all honesty, I have no idea. I just don’t like that it is used like it is because it gives the illusion that you will magically change just because the year of the calendar does. I mean, it is a miracle if I can even remember to write the new year within the first month, let alone, become a new person. So I feel like it should be changed to new year, new chances.

A new year brings about new opportunities and chances in life. You have the chance to change habits and you get new opportunities that will fill the year and will impact how you view it at the end. You get the chance to work harder to achieve goals. So while you are still the same person, your new opportunities will obviously shape you in some way.

All I am saying is a new year will not change who you are. Just like there is no magic pill to lose weight, there is no way a calendar change is going to change you into a completely new version of yourself. A new year is simply that..a new year. So you can choose what to do with it. If you want to use the year to make yourself better, find true, love, etc, you are now granted that opportunity to find it this year. However, don’t be fooled that you aren’t the same person you were 18 hours ago when the clock struck midnight.

Use this year to your full advantage. Take the path that works best for you. Fulfill the goals you have given yourself. Make the best of this life. I hope all your goals and aspirations come true this year, and if not, remember there is always the year after next. Though I really hope you won’t have to wait that long.

Uncategorized

Goodbye 2018

It’s the last day of 2018. We made it everyone! This year was a long one, and I am excited for the start of a new one. When 2017 ended, I said I was ready for anything the next year had to throw at me. I should have thought more carefully before jinxing myself. This past year was hard, and a lot of changes came about, but it was also a year of growth and setting myself up for success in the future.

I was finally able to end one of the longest chapters in my life and rediscover myself. I was reminded that I am a survivor and that no matter life throws my life, I will tackle head on and get through it. I said goodbye to needless drama, and after years of going back and forth I let go all the family members who have years have refused to acknowledge my existence, including my brother. This was a year of letting people go who were just standing in your way of being the best version of myself. While letting go of some people stung, because I knew them for decades, as their drama left my life, I felt lighter and more focused myself. I spent too many years trying to save people from themselves and eventually you have to let them figure out their life for themselves.

This year was also met with me discovering that I can no longer try and change myself to match someone else or to make people happy. Although I have known this for years, there was always that one side of me that wanted to help everyone that let me slide back into the habit. However, no more, and I have no apologies for it. I will be there for the ones who are there for me, but I am not going out of my way or dealing with fair weather friends anymore. One thing I am actually happened is I stop being the ice princess my friends know me as and started letting myself be vulnerable. While I have always exposed every aspect of my life to my friends, this was the first year I let myself be vulnerable without holding back to complete strangers. While it had some amazing pay off but adding new people to my tribe and making amazing friends. It did expose me to the criticism I have grown accustomed to through life. However, I know that my opinions and my personality are not for everyone, and therefore, if they don’t like me, it’s their loss in the end.

2018 was probably my hardest year in this decade, and while I am happy for a new year. I appreciate everything I went through because you have to weather the storms of life to reap the rewards. I am excited to end the 2010s with nothing but positivity and amazing things happening. Next year will be amazing, and I am not asking for it to throw me everything, because I will be honest and say another year like last will probably be too much to handle.

So those of you who have had a hard year, I wish you nothing but help and happiness in the upcoming year. If this year kicked you in the ass, just remember that after every storm there is a rainbow. Okay that was cringeworthy but it’s the truth. If you are struggling with letting go of this years’ misfortunes, just do what I do. Write every bad thing that happened this year on a piece of paper and once you are done, light it on fire. Watch the flames engulf the paper and watch all the bad things disappear like the ash. It is one way to leave those bad situations or people in the past. Don’t let them come to a new year with you and ruin your brand-new start with their negativity. While watching the paper burn, image that those are your memories and let those burn with the paper. Now, if you have a photographic memory like me, that may be tough, but as it burns, black out those images in your mind. So if they do happen to pop up again, all you see is a blank screen. Leave the pain behind and move forward to a prosperous year.

Don’t forget to write those goals down for next year. I don’t do resolutions because they never last, so I write down everything I want to accomplish by the end of the year. I actually have a realistic one and a “fantasy” one because as a writer, I always like to dream a little. However, I normally stick to the realist one but always hope something from the other list pops into reality. For one, this website will be updated daily with new writings. I am going to be posting things I have been holding back on posting for multiple reasons. Any locked posts will be unlocked. I will be working on a book that has been sitting in my head and laptop for months, so I will be using this as a place to drop all my motivational, poems, music articles, and some genres that haven’t been frequented on here yet. For those of you that have already entered the new year…Happy New Years and for those still waiting for the clock to strike midnight, well let’s make this the best last day of the year!! I will see all of you in the New Year!!

Uncategorized

Why I write

“Keep writing,” said my senior English teacher as I walked down from the stage at graduation. A graduation that was postponed by a semester due to some dumb choices I had made. Getting pregnant in high school is never on anyone’s bucket list. Neither was the abortion that followed due to shame projected onto me. I have never forgotten those two words that were said to me on the last day of graduation. Yet, I didn’t follow through. Life was never easy for me and I was never handed anything. Right after graduating I jumped straight into the working world and that became my new passion. I would work my 40 plus hours a week, take home a paycheck, and appease my parents all at the same time. I totally lost who I was. I was and will always be a writer.

Being a writer is in my blood. I have been writing since I could form words with my mouth and hands. I remember other children would be off playing sports or hanging out with friends, and I would be at home writing in my notebook or on my computer, once I finally had my own. I would write about some of the craziest and advanced imaginations for my age. I can’t tell you what my first short story contained but I can tell you that it definitely opened up a passion in my life. I loved everything English and when writing became a subject in school, well it is needless to say, that I more than thrived. Teachers were amazed that such a young brain could produce such intricate pieces of work. Let’s face most elementary and middle school aged children are not writing novels. It always amazes how easy the words flow onto paper and how I can create pieces that people actually want to read.

Writing has been therapy for me through the years. It got me through a cross country move and it helped me vent my frustrations with my current state of life. My first major novel was pretty dark and looking back it was nothing but a reflection of how I felt having to leave the friends and school I knew so well to be thrown cross-country to another school and trying to obtain friends. This was hard for me, because for some writers, we are so in our heads, we hardly have time to look up from our work. I was always viewed as the odd student because I liked when we were assigned essays. The more pages, the better.

I remember once in sixth grade we were asked to write a book report and the page limit was 2 pages. Two pages? How am I supposed to get everything I want to say about another literary piece in two pages. I remember the teacher turning in my direction and saying anything over two pages would automatically be knocked down a letter grade. It was pure torture for my soul. I remember going home that day and writing the book report in 30 minutes. However, it was 5 pages long…not 2! I panicked and spent the night editing it down and down. I remember even trying to argue that it was a disservice to set such a stiff requirement. I was just met with the usual, the gaze of “I’m the teacher, not you!” I was known as the girl who always had too much to say in essays to all my teachers. I could write 10 pages on the color blue and how it affected the world. Sometimes I even found my talent obsessive. I remember thinking some days that I wish I could write one page and be happy. However, that wasn’t me.

I think a lot of my excessive writing stems from being silenced in my home growing up. I was never allowed to express my feelings and I turned to writing for my outlet. I was the black sheep and I always tested that theory. I would push my parents limits because I knew I could. I knew they didn’t really want me and blamed me for them having to stay married longer. So, on days when life was too much and I didn’t feel like burdening a friend who was already suffering, I would turn to writing to release my anger, sadness, frustration, happiness. It was my therapy and sometimes it predicted my self-fulfilling prophecies.

I have always been a natural introvert. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and being social, but it takes me quite a while to become comfortable with people. I was painfully shy growing up and any time I expressed myself, I was met with rejection. My notebook never rejected me. My computer is another story, because technology can be temperamental. I knew I could always go to my notebook and write about the guy I liked, without the popular girls trying to force him on me. I used it as a way to vent my frustrations with school and teachers who wanted me to conform. In adolescence it is probably the only outlet that kept me from ending up another teenage suicide statistic. Writing has always been there for me and for whatever reason I turned my back on it.

After I walked across that stage on graduation day, I put the notebooks away and my thoughts just swirled in my head. Like I mentioned before I went straight to work. I used that to quiet the voices in my head and tried to be a productive member of society. The truth is, I am more productive if I am writing. Once I ended the bad relationship I was in, I started writing again. It got me through the loneliness of ending my relationship with my first love and it helped me prioritize. I headed to college and decided to major in Criminal Justice. Why you may ask? I love writing but hated being told what to write. I am too free spirited to have someone telling me what I need to write. English was my easiest subject, but I burned out quickly from all the forced subjects of which I didn’t have an interest to write about. Criminal justice was where my writing really thrived in college. I have always had a knack for the Justice system and it was probably the one subject that I had a lot to say about. The best part? My teachers loved my long essays and paragraph responses to questions. I was in the field of study to become a Profiler. I wanted to take down serial killers and I wanted to write about them as well. I had a whole “serial killer” series planned out in my head.

Everything was headed in the right direction. I was an A student and in an honor society and then my writing was killed by the one subject I was studying to do as a profession. I met someone in a time of weakness and they killed every last piece of me that existed. At first I thought it was a blessing, but as the years went on and I lost more and more of myself. I quickly realized he was my subject and I was supposed to be studying him, not marrying him or having kids with him. All my passion was sucked away by the poison he spilled. I wasn’t good enough to actually write my own works, but if he needed a masters paper finished, I was the one who was expected to bring in the A. Having my passion sucked from me for so many years caused me to become a shell of myself. It caused me to be numb to everything. I had friends and great conversations with people, but I wasn’t invested. Part of me was dead and I couldn’t figure out what it was. The minute I woke up to what was going on and removed him from my life, there was a panic. Who was I? What was I good at? I enrolled back in school to get a BSN in nursing and decided I was determined to be a nurse. However, something felt off. I felt like I was lying to myself. Criminal Justice was no longer my number one focus, as I had four kids to take care of and couldn’t risk their safety any more than I had. I couldn’t quite put my hand on the trigger and figure it out. I felt like an absolute failure in the state I was in.

Slowly however, the creativity that used to be a plague to my brain started flowing back. The smiles on my face actually started to look real. As I started to regain happiness and composure, I also regained my passion: writing. There is nothing better to me than grabbing a cup of coffee and siting in front of my laptop and just letting the words flow. Not every piece has to make sense. You just have to be honest with yourself. Writing is therapy and if you let it do the work, you can truly find what your true self is meant to be.

For me, that means listening to the two pieces of advice I received fifteen years ago. Had I listened and not veered the course, who knows how many best sellers I would have on the shelves. However, I hate living in what ifs and what could have been, so I am moving forward. This space will be where I share my thoughts, opinions, and literary pieces. Some days I may not make a lick of sense, but I will try to keep things interesting. Join me on my path to regain my passion and you will have some interesting reads along the way.