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A day of love. Yet shouldn’t everyday be a day of love?  Do we really need a holiday to prove we care for another person? Is that how shallow our society has truly become?

Valentine’s Day the one time of the year people in relationships love because they think their partner will shower them with gifts. The holiday is catered to those in relationships. It is also the day that corporate American reminds single people how much they fail for not being in a relationship. However, if you really take a look at what this holiday has become, it is really just a sham. I mean why on one day of the year should you expect your partner to be going above and beyond to show you how they feel. This should be happening on a regular occurrence, and Valentine’s Day should just be another day. It is a day of love but why is it only focused on the love of couples?  Why can’t this just be a day of love for all? Who cares if you are single, maybe you enjoy not having to deal with the struggles of a relationship or maybe you just don’t have time.

Being single is not a bad thing, nor is being in a relationship. However, I have seen way too many people use Valentines Day as a way to go overboard to prove they really care for their partner. Yet when February 15^th rolls around, the fights start again, and they question why they are still together. I always believed the ones that got the most on this day, were always overcompensating for something wrong in the relationship, or something they have done. I can’t count the amount of times, a girl comes crying a week after getting a huge display, having just found out her boyfriend has been cheating for months. Corporate greed has made us believe the more we spend, the more our partner will love us. This is farther from the truth. Stop fretting if your significant other doesn’t go all out or forgets. The holiday is overrated anyway.

All over social media you see people either bragging or complaining about how their life sucks. Singles feel left out, and restaurants make deals for single people. I am not sure my take on this because I don’t want pity for being single. I mean a discount is nice, but do I really want to go to restaurant and say I am single, so give me a discount today. Forget that. Do I want to go to a bar and wait for another lonely guy to take me home to fill our void together? No! You don’t have to be with someone to feel complete. You should be enough for yourself. Wait until you find the person that will treat every day like Valentine’s and not wait for the calendar to tell him or her to celebrate and appreciate you.

So often we are made to feel incomplete if we are not in a relationship and this is no more present than on Valentine’s Day. However, it will also make you question your own relationship. I always advise staying away from social media on this day. Don’t compare your relationship and your gifts or activities to others. Everyone is different. Some put more importance on the time spent together than on the money drained from their account. I would much rather have a guy spend an uninterrupted evening with me with no distractions, meaning turning our phones off and having a real conversation, than being showered with superficial gifts. Though we have become a superficial society, so I can understand why some feel compelled to go all out. I won’t hop on that train though. A home cooked dinner, candles, wine and some good music will always beat a fancy 5-star restaurant. Plus, who really wants to fight to get reservations? Too much stress.

Does one day really make a difference? Does buying a gift make your relationship last longer? Does this day make up for the rest of the year? No, is the answer. If you say yes, you are just deluding yourself because one day does not make up for every other day. Can you make it a day of a fresh start, of course! Just don’t use Valentine’s Day as a way to try and make up for all the bad things that have occurred. A holiday cannot replace those memories or actions taken. Sure, you can go spend a lot of money and shower someone with a falsehood of security, but if it is only done on this day, that façade will disappear quickly. Use today as just another day to appreciate all of those around that you love. If you are single, get together will your other single friends and celebrate your freedom to go out and do whatever you like on this day catered to lovers. If you are in a relationship, celebrate in the way that works for you and your partner. Forget the hallmark cards and lifetime movies. Only you know what your partner likes, and if you don’t, well that is a whole other subject. What I am trying to say is don’t put pressure on yourself to match what has been ingrained in our brains since elementary school. Enjoy your day and at the end of the day, it really is just another day in the scheme of life. Don’t waste your time worrying about 24 hours and just do what works for you.

(c)Writing the Rose

Sarah Do

14 February 2019