Feeling guarded not sure how to let you in
Wanting to be vulnerable to you
But scared to let down my walls
Images of my past dancing in my head
Scared of frightening you away with one wrong move
I find myself overthinking the smallest things
Holding back a part of me I want you to see
Hoping to quiet the noise in my head and be free
You make me feel so comfortable and at ease
Both of us guarded because of our past
Learning from each other maybe we can chip away the layers of protection
Showing our true vulnerable sides to each other
I lay here everyday and run over the words I said to you
Not sure why I am blocking you from seeing all of me
Revealing to you stuff I never reveal
Yet still so scared of you seeing me fully
Worried you will go away
Thinking that I am not worth your time like all the others
Pulling myself back so I don’t get attached
Protecting my heart in case you change your mind
Yet part of me still wants to give in to you and brace for impact
Taking the risk and putting my heart in your hands
Trusting you to take care of it
Protecting it from any future harm
Yet still so scared to be vulnerable
How do I shake this feeling
I don’t want my overthinking to scare you away
I quiet my mind and embrace the journey
Slowly letting you in and whatever happens will happen
Not worrying needlessly about the what ifs and just enjoying your company
Living in the moment instead of worrying about the future
Going with the flow, while with you
©Writing the Rose
©writingtherose.com
Sarah Do
14 September 2019
