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Painful

I smile to hide the tears
Trying to escape from my eyes
My fate is one I have written in stone
My destiny is one I must face alone

Happiness is something that I can only achieve in dreams
My reality of pain is echoed with muffled screams
I yearn for the feeling of true love
One that makes me want to move

My worth as a person hasn’t changed
But why do I feel like I am worthless to the world around me
My situation is one I did not create alone
Yet the other party gets to live happily like nothing ever happened

I am the one left holding the burden
Staring straight into the eyes of the past I cannot erase
I am the one suffering from the mistakes of two people
However, my suffering is only one sided

The world looks down on me for what I have become
I in turn look down upon myself
How could I have turned what was once a bright future
Into this gloomy reality that haunts my dreams

My heart is cold and hard
The thought of letting anyone in is terrifying
My mistakes I made has caused my heart to suffer
I don’t know if I can really handle another loss

A loss I can only imagine since my reality
Is one no one would want to face
No one would want to trade places with me
I don’t blame them, neither would I

I never wanted this reality
This was always what I considered my worst nightmare
So, all my days of talking of living in a nightmare
They have finally come true

I stand here with nothing but pain in my soul
I look at the world in a way those don’t know
I smile to hide all the pain that is inside
The world doesn’t see the true me


©Writing the Rose
11 December 2012

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