It’s the last day of 2018. We made it everyone! This year was a long one, and I am excited for the start of a new one. When 2017 ended, I said I was ready for anything the next year had to throw at me. I should have thought more carefully before jinxing myself. This past year was hard, and a lot of changes came about, but it was also a year of growth and setting myself up for success in the future.
I was finally able to end one of the longest chapters in my life and rediscover myself. I was reminded that I am a survivor and that no matter life throws my life, I will tackle head on and get through it. I said goodbye to needless drama, and after years of going back and forth I let go all the family members who have years have refused to acknowledge my existence, including my brother. This was a year of letting people go who were just standing in your way of being the best version of myself. While letting go of some people stung, because I knew them for decades, as their drama left my life, I felt lighter and more focused myself. I spent too many years trying to save people from themselves and eventually you have to let them figure out their life for themselves.
This year was also met with me discovering that I can no longer try and change myself to match someone else or to make people happy. Although I have known this for years, there was always that one side of me that wanted to help everyone that let me slide back into the habit. However, no more, and I have no apologies for it. I will be there for the ones who are there for me, but I am not going out of my way or dealing with fair weather friends anymore. One thing I am actually happened is I stop being the ice princess my friends know me as and started letting myself be vulnerable. While I have always exposed every aspect of my life to my friends, this was the first year I let myself be vulnerable without holding back to complete strangers. While it had some amazing pay off but adding new people to my tribe and making amazing friends. It did expose me to the criticism I have grown accustomed to through life. However, I know that my opinions and my personality are not for everyone, and therefore, if they don’t like me, it’s their loss in the end.
2018 was probably my hardest year in this decade, and while I am happy for a new year. I appreciate everything I went through because you have to weather the storms of life to reap the rewards. I am excited to end the 2010s with nothing but positivity and amazing things happening. Next year will be amazing, and I am not asking for it to throw me everything, because I will be honest and say another year like last will probably be too much to handle.
So those of you who have had a hard year, I wish you nothing but help and happiness in the upcoming year. If this year kicked you in the ass, just remember that after every storm there is a rainbow. Okay that was cringeworthy but it’s the truth. If you are struggling with letting go of this years’ misfortunes, just do what I do. Write every bad thing that happened this year on a piece of paper and once you are done, light it on fire. Watch the flames engulf the paper and watch all the bad things disappear like the ash. It is one way to leave those bad situations or people in the past. Don’t let them come to a new year with you and ruin your brand-new start with their negativity. While watching the paper burn, image that those are your memories and let those burn with the paper. Now, if you have a photographic memory like me, that may be tough, but as it burns, black out those images in your mind. So if they do happen to pop up again, all you see is a blank screen. Leave the pain behind and move forward to a prosperous year.
Don’t forget to write those goals down for next year. I don’t do resolutions because they never last, so I write down everything I want to accomplish by the end of the year. I actually have a realistic one and a “fantasy” one because as a writer, I always like to dream a little. However, I normally stick to the realist one but always hope something from the other list pops into reality. For one, this website will be updated daily with new writings. I am going to be posting things I have been holding back on posting for multiple reasons. Any locked posts will be unlocked. I will be working on a book that has been sitting in my head and laptop for months, so I will be using this as a place to drop all my motivational, poems, music articles, and some genres that haven’t been frequented on here yet. For those of you that have already entered the new year…Happy New Years and for those still waiting for the clock to strike midnight, well let’s make this the best last day of the year!! I will see all of you in the New Year!!
©Writing the Rose